For the quote board:

I was still asleep the other morning when Sam woke up so he came into my room to get me. He sat talking to me by my bed for a few minutes while I snoozed a little. My arm was up behind my head so that my arm pit was exposed, Sam noticed my prickly unshaved armpits (yes, I know it's gross) and said pointing to the hair, "What's that!?" I answered, "it's hair." Sam thought about it a minute and said, "no, it's a beard."

That finally woke me up because I couldn't stop laughing.