A year of Facebook status updates

I'm friends with most of you on Facebook so you've probably read most of these. Most of my updates are about my kids, and they are things I haven't blogged about so I wanted to remember them. Since I'm most likely to delete my Facebook account way before I delete my blog I thought this would be a perfect way to remember.

(Jan. 4) ...in the words of Hootie and the Blowfish, "I'm such a baby, yeah, the Dolphins make me cry." :(

(Jan. 6) was reminded why you shouldn't take a toddler to the store right before nap time....

(Jan. 8) was in a 5.0 earthquake earlier. It was pretty violent.

(Jan 9) tried to take a short nap but her son kept sitting on her face.

(Jan. 14) just got back from San Diego Zoo. Jordan's favorite part was the pinecone he found in a tree.

(Jan. 17) just got home from bowling. I always do a ton better when I'm pregnant!

(Jan 18) is so HAPPY! Benji passed boards!

(Jan 19) is wondering when she will stop calling Sudoku puzzles Suduko puzzles. You'd think I'd catch on by now.

(Jan 19) thinks her husband is greater than or equal to the awesomeness of Dan Marino.

(Jan 20) is ready to conquer the Mt. Everest of laundry in her room!

(Jan 24) is embracing the fact that she waddles when she walks now.

(Feb. 1) ...Go Cardinals!! (and from Jordan, "Go Blimp!")

(Feb 3) thinks the hour wait for her free Grand Slam was worth it!

(Feb. 4) is going to Disneyland for the last time...

(Feb 9) walked laps in the mall like the old people in Logan.

(March 5) tried to start her car with a credit card. Wow...a new low

(March 17) Happy Anniversary Benji. I love you more than ever....even if you are an Eagles fan! :)

(March 19) loves the sound of chirping birds as much as the next guy, but at 3am!? Come on!!!

(March 26) wants to hear from the women out there that think Korver is good looking. Because to me he is maybe the funniest looking man on the planet (next to Reggie Miller, of course)

(March 27) had a dream I waited in line at a grocery store, that's it. No guns, explosions, cool people or random strange events. Just me waiting to buy a Milky Way. BORING!

(April 3) likes going to the 99 cent store because I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Walmart.

(April 6) can't believe I'm already packing up boxes for the big move!!

(April 7) ...I think I'm done with American Idol. It's kind of lame.

(April 8) can't stop eating pluots! They are so good!!

(April 11) "We have so many CDs, if it was ten years ago we would be so cool!!" -Benji Hadfield

(April 14) had a dream about ninjas. My husband will be so proud.

(April 15) Dear Killers, Can I be human and a dancer?

(April 18) is just packing more stuff. We got rid of one of our couches and a bunch of other furniture. Jordan loves having so much space to run around.

(April 18) Jordan chose an awful time to decide he likes to be rocked in the rocking chair and be cuddly. Not that I don't love it, I just don't know what he's going to do when the baby comes in 12 days.

(April 20) can't believe her little baby is TWO!! Happy Birthday Jordan!

(April 23) sorry I gave up on you Jazz, but sometimes you make me so angry I have no choice. I'm too pregnant to get so worked up over a game. So stop being stupid and just play to win the WHOLE game. Thanks!

(April 24) ....I will be a mother of TWO in ONE week!

(April 25) my boys just left to see the movie Earth. I'm going to take a nap!

(April 27) spent almost $100 on diapers, wipes, and other general baby needs...they weren't kidding...kids are expensive!

(April 28) thank you sweet husband and son for letting me sleep in!!

(April 29) so I love being pregnant, but I'm done with having a baby reside in my womb, I might start charging rent or something. Your eviction notice has been posted!!!!

(April 29) my son just told me to kiss his owie that was on his shoe. So I bet you're wondering if I kissed his shoe. I sure did. Oh boy, the things you have to do when you're a mommy.

(April 30) One last day without an infant. So I'm spending it cleaning, packing, shopping, and painting my toe nails. Oh, and trying to explain to Jordan that things are going to be a lot different and that I still love him. Maybe I'll buy him a donut or something today because nothing says “things are changing, but I still love you” like a donut

(May 1) is off to the hospital!!! Pictures will be posted Monday!

(May 4) Samuel Ben Hadfield, born May 1st 12:55 pm, 7 lbs. 15 oz., looks like Winston Churchill...just kidding.

(May 5) Things that will never be the same...Sam's club, Uncle Sam, Samsung, Green Eggs and Ham (Sam I am).

(May 7) the perfect afternoon...Both of my boys are sound asleep and in about 5 minutes I will be too!!

(May 8) 1st doctor's appointment for Sam today...he almost pooped on the doctor and the only thing I could think to say was, "told ya he has frequent bowel movements."

(May 18) my husband graduates in 6 days!

(May 19) never go dress shopping a few weeks after giving birth. Depressing!

(May 28) I know I had a late night because when the news informed me of a 7.1 earthquake in Central America I thought they meant Kansas.

(June 9) am I the only one that thinks Kobe Bryant looks like Voldemort, or at least a death eater?

(June 10) favorite moment of the week: driving in the car with my two screaming children as background "singers" to Michael Bolton's "When a Man Loves a Woman" (I think love songs should always have crying kids in the background...just as a warning.)

(June 11) was just initiated into the toddler throwing a tantrum in public club. Complete with garbage cans tipped over, Sam getting head-butted, pity looks from fellow moms, and the "can't you control you child" looks from all the others. Thanks Jordan.

(June 12) don't tell Sam, but I'm taking him to get c-i-r-c-u-m-c-i-s-e-d in the morning...

(June 16) Jordan just asked, "may I please want this?" I'm not sure what this is, but sure, you may want it.

(June 17) my husband has a theory that any problem can be solved with more blankets. Now that he's a dentist I'm wondering how this theory would be applied to dental work. Honey?

(June 18) can't believe the baby sleeping next to me is the one I brought home from the hospital 6 weeks ago. He is way cuter....and a heck of a lot chubbier.

(June 19) there's a website where you list the food you have in your cupboards/fridge and it will give you recipes with those ingredients. I put in a few ingredients I had on hand and the only recipe that matched was homemade dog food. Not really what I had in mind

(June 21) just reserved a Uhaul truck for June 29th!! Utah here we come! (Now time to start freaking out about how little I have packed, and how freaking expensive Uhauls are!)

(June 22) Benji just brought home his $250,000 piece of paper and they spelled his name wrong.

(June 24) Sam finally slept through the night! I love waking up when it's light outside!

(June 27) I never thought I would ever hear my kid repeating, "I want Ice Ice Baby" over and over while throwing a tantrum. I also never knew a tantrum could make my day!

(June 29) so after hours and hours of cleaning so we could get our deposit back Jordan just kicked over a gallon of paint onto the carpet.

(July 3) I'm always reminded why I'm so good at Tetris when I move.

(July 20) finally decided no more HGTV when I went to see Harry Potter today and instead of paying attention to the characters I was redecorating Hogwarts.

(July 25) the biggest difference between California and Utah...you can't buy ammo at the grocery store in California.

(July 28) I have a working husband! Good luck Dr. Hadfield!

(July 29) I have two confessions. #1--I have bought all of Jordan's Christmas and birthday presents from yard sales. #2--I just bought one of his Christmas presents last night!! (yes, I realize it's only July!)

(July 31) 20 jars of raspberry jam, 5 jars of blueberry jam, and 2 quart size ziplock bags full of flash frozen raspberries. Time to clean the kitchen!

(Aug 4) What is up with today!? 3 baby outfits, 2 mommy outfits, a towel, two blankets, one bassinet sheet and one changing table cover in the washing machine...I hope Samuel's done pooping for the day! :)

(Aug 4) Sam just laughed for the first time.

(Aug 11) Watching your child play at the park when you don't have health insurance is a nightmare! The slides are way too high, the bridge is too high and bouncy, and everything else is way too high, bouncy and slippery.

(Aug 13) no matter how on sale they are, never buy the cheap trash bags.

(Aug 14) wonders if there is a cooking class called "learn how to cook with one hand, while holding a baby in the other, and holding a phone to your ear with your shoulder, and a 2 year old tugging on your shirt yelling that they are hungry." If so, sign me up!

(Aug 20) Ice cream trucks: waking up napping boys in the Hadfield home since 2009.

(Aug 21) "Sometimes monkeys and girls think the same." --Curious George

(Aug 28) I wish Jordan would realize that a VERY sleep deprived mommy doesn't like to sing for an hour straight, go for walks or to the park, doesn't like to play with blocks, she makes lame lunches, gets kind of mad at dumb things like poopy diapers and silly requests like cookies for lunch. Fresh as a daisy mom is the opposite. (Except I don't really get happy about poopy diapers.)

(Aug 29) I'm so proud of my husband and his blue ribbon photo in the county fair.

(Sept 3) Homemade chicken pot pie, pepsi, espn, sleeping kids. A perfect lunch.

(Sept 9) Conversation I had with my VERY concerned little boy: Jordan: "He fell." Me:

"He fell?" Jordan: "He fell into a burning ring of fire."

(Sept 17) Jordan had to tell me "I want Der," about 30 times before I figured out Der=Dora the Explorer. Yeah, I speak two languages, English and toddler.

(Sept 28) I was was putting sweat pants on Jordan this morning and he said, "Now I look like mom!" Ohhhh dear.

(Sept 29) "You can be a tough cowboy and still floss everyday." -Dr. Hadfiel

(Sept 30) Don't ever make a kid laugh when you are inches from their face and they are eating or you might end up with a face full of soggy, half chewed tortilla chips. Lesson learned.

(Oct 7) It's so funny how much it delights Jordan that he can have treats and Sam can't. Oh, the sibling rivalry.

(Oct. 8) My cute little family was in the Box Elder News Journal today, but due to awful placement of our ad we were right next to Brigham City's most wanted and it just so happens that Jordan is pointing to one of them and laughing.

(Oct 9) From the looks of my house you would think I don't supervise my child (bag of flour on the floor, laundry in the bathtub, pages torn out of books, crackers on the floor...) he is two steps ahead of me with his destructive mess making!!

(Oct 11) Jordan woke up this morning and ate the tips off all of his crayons. Just waiting

for the most interesting diaper ever....

(Oct. 21) Jordan spread the newspaper out on the floor and is running back and forth over it yelling, "you think you know!" ?????????????

(Oct 25) I almost knocked myself out this morning by hitting my head on a metal pole while sneezing. Unfortunately, I'm not trying to be funny, this really happened.

(Oct 27) Hey everyone! Mark your calendars....I had a dream I found out the date of the end of the world....November 26, 2044.

(Oct 30) I think Jordan's trying to make up for waking me up three times last night by being super funny and cute. Just barely, "Jordan do you want apple juice?" "Mmmmmmmm! That sounds like a delicious plan!"

(Oct. 30) Samuel finally has his first primary mandibular incisor.

(Oct 31) I had a dream I was arguing gun control with Bill Clinton.

(Nov. 3) A well baby check up, immunizations, and 3 H1N1 immunizations all under an hour. I love Brigham City.

(Nov. 5) This morning I told Jordan he could be finished with breakfast after he took one more bite of banana. He first cried for 10 minutes, then was silent for 2, then gave the most defeated, pathetic monkey noise before taking his last bite.

(Nov. 22) Jordan decided he's a Bengals fan. He likes the "tigers".

(Nov. 23) Jordan makes me laugh sometimes. His favorite songs are Ring of Fire, We will rock you, and Ice Ice Baby. He prefers hip hop over anything else, and he hates Jack Johnson.

(Nov. 25) Note to self: Never pretend to moon a car that's pulling into your apartment complex just because the car looks just like the hubby's. It just might be the neighbors ride to work, and the car might have three weirded out middle aged men in it. Oh wait, you already did!!? I bet you were embarrassed.